A seven-day experiment, the awkward moments to expect, and the sentence that replaces "sorry"
Pull up your sent folder and tally how many times you wrote the word sorry. Set aside the real ones and look at the reflexive ones: "Sorry for the delay." "Sorry to bother you." "Sorry, can I just add something?" Many women in senior roles, across industries from healthcare to banking, are surprised by the total, and almost none of those apologies were for anything that needed forgiving.
Here is our approach. For seven days, starting Monday, "sorry" is reserved for real harm: you missed a deadline that hurt someone, or you got something wrong that mattered. Everything else gets a replacement. What follows is what tends to happen, day by day, along with the lines that make it workable.
Days 1 and 2, you start hearing yourself
Almost immediately you will see how frequently that word appears in your messages. It crops up in the greetings of your emails, the way you enter a room of colleagues, and whenever you bring up a point someone has already settled. Realistically you will notice about half of these moments as they happen, which is plenty to get going.
Try "Thanks for your patience" in place of "Sorry for the delay." Use "Let me add something" instead of "Sorry, can I just." Swap "Sorry it took so long" for "Here's the update."
Days 3 and 4, it feels awkward
With that padding gone, your phrasing will hit with more force than you have grown used to. A request reads as a request. A correction reads as a correction. Plenty of people quit at this stage, since the bluntness can feel like being impolite. It is not. It is simply a sentence without an apology in front of it, and your colleagues hear that from their peers every day.
When you do want something gentler, choose one that is sincere: thanking someone in Cincinnati or Hamilton for a fast turnaround is warm and owes no one an apology. Write the three sentences you say most often, with a replacement for each, on a sticky note. It may sound plain, yet it does the job, since the habit kicks in before your good intentions can.
Day 5 brings a shift in how others reply to you.
Right around Friday, the way people answer your requests begins to shift. Replies arrive sooner, and far fewer colleagues ask you to clarify what you already spelled out. The shift is subtle, and it is the whole point: a sentence that opens with an apology invites the listener to grant you something, while a sentence that opens with the content invites them to act. You might even spot which people liked the softer version better. That is useful information too.
The single principle that keeps you genuinely human
Avoid sounding distant or unfriendly. This experiment is not about removing warmth. It means dropping the implication that you owe others something simply for taking up their time. "Sorry" was doing two jobs at once. Hold onto the warmth and let the apology go.
When an apology is still appropriate
Offer an apology when you made a mistake that cost someone something. Offer it one time, mean it completely, and name the change you will make next time. Apologies used sparingly are the ones people truly take to heart.
Describe what occurred for us
Finish the week and then send us a note describing the hardest moment, the wording you chose in its place, and what had shifted by Friday. With your permission, we will publish the strongest accounts, under your name or anonymously, as the first entries in a new series of reader stories about what actually happens at work across Greater Cincinnati.
Your sent folder is where you will naturally look first. Sorry about that.